Jokes
This is a list of voice emote jokes for each race and each gender. These jokes come from using the /silly slash command. ;See also: * World of Warcraft quotes at wikiquote.org. Alliance Dwarf female * "No they're not real, but thanks for noticing." * "My Uncle has brass balls, no really!" * "I give myself a Dutch oven pedicure every night. I have no foot fungus at all. My toes are pristine." * "I don't like to be underground. It reminds me of death." * "I like my ale like I like my men: Dark and rich." * "It's like my father always used to say: 'Shut up, and get out.' " Dwarf male * "Ahhh, winter...Yes...Winter..." * "I don't drink anymore ... course, I don't drink any less either!" * "I don't have a drinkin' problem! I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem!" * "Oh, I'm a social drinker. Every time someone says, 'I'll have a drink', I say, 'Social(so shall) I!" * "I'm having a wardrobe malfunction! Ooo, there's me hammer." * "I like my beer like I like my women, stout and bitter." * "Hi hooo, hi hooo...ehh...second verse, same as the first." Gnome female * "I apologize profusely for any inconvenience my murderous rampage may have caused." * "I've discovered that getting pummeled by a blunt weapon can be quite painful." * "You know...squirrels can be deadly when cornered." * "Some day, I hope to find the nuggets on a chicken." Gnome male * "I'd like to give a shout out to my boys in Gnomeregan. Keeping it real Big T, Snoop Puff and Little Deeds. Y'all are short, but you're real, baby!" * "I think that last vendor short changed me. Oh, that was a bad one." * "I had an idea for a device that you could put small pieces of bread in to cook, but in the end I really didn't think there'd be much of a market for it." * "I look bigger in those mirrors where things look bigger." * "You know, I really wish I had a garden where I could put a couple of human statues." * "I do hope to find some interesting gadgets around here. I do love tinkering with things." Human female * "Why does everyone automatically assume I know tailoring and cooking?" * "I like to fart in the tub." * "Do you ever feel like you're not in charge of your own destiny, like...you're being controlled by an invisible hand." * "Me and my girlfriends exchange clothes all the time; we're all the same size." * "I can't find anywhere to get my nails done." * "Sometimes, I have trouble controlling the volume OF MY VOICE!" * "I can't wait till this quest is done and I can look for another Garibaldi artifact." (This is a reference to the tv show Alias, where Sydney Bristow (played by Jennifer Garner) was often sent around the world to search for the artifacts of Milo Rambaldi.) * "Westfall makes my ass itch." Human male * "A guy walked up to me and said 'I'm a tepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a tepee, I'm a wigwam!' and I said 'Relax man, you're too tense (two tents)!'" * "Cover me! I gotta wizz behind a tree." * "So, I have this idea for a great movie. It's about two gnomes who find a bracelet of power, and they have to take it to the Burning Steppes and cast it into the Cauldron. They form the Brotherhood of the Bracelet. Along the way they're trailed by a murloc named Gottum, who's obsessed with the bracelet, and nine bracelet bogeymen. It could be a three-parter, called 'Ruler of the Bracelet'. The first part would be called 'The Brotherhood of the Bracelet', followed by 'A Couple of Towers', with a climactic ending called 'Hey, the King's Back!'"(reference to the Lord of the Rings Trilogy) * "A duck walked into an apothecary and said 'Give me some ChapStick... and put it on my bill!" * "How does a Tauren hide in a Cherry tree? He paints his hooves red!" * "So, an orc walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says 'Hey, where'd you get that?' The parrot says 'Durotar. They've got them all over the place.' " Night Elf female * "No, I have to keep moving at night. Or I'll disappear!" * "Oh, look, I'm dancing again! I hope all your friends are enjoying the show..." * "Actually, I'm more of a...Morning Elf." * "I think guys just use the Emerald Dream as an excuse to avoid calling me back." * "You know, Wisps are actually pretty useful for personal hygiene." Night Elf male * "I don't mind the Gnomes but I'm always worried about tripping over one." * "Last night I went to an awesome stag party." * "I don't know about you, but I can't understand a thing those Wisps say. I usually just nod." * "You know those Ancient Protectors in Darnassus? They're not that old." * "Who wants to live forever?" * "Is that thing sharp? Could that thing cut me? I'm... not immortal now you know." * "Man, I was halfway through the Emerald Dream when I had to pee." * "What? I didn't hear that." Draenei female *"Why does everyone have trouble with the name of our people? It sounds just like it is spelled." *"How exactly do you crash into a planet? That's what I want to know." *"Yes, they are real, and they can cut glass." *"Single Draenei female seeks blacksmith with grinding wheel to take care of me and my gorgeous hooves." *"Look at my hoof! Does this crack look infected to you?" *"'Stop and ask for directions,' I told him. But 'No, it's inter-dimensional,' he says. 'What can go wrong?'" *"This planet has a tremendous supply of sandstone. The inhabitants must be wealthy beyond their dreams." *"I have a wonderful recipe. Bring two gnomes, two eggs. Beat Gnomes, separate the eggs- or was it...eh, details." (Confirmed 1/17/06 as being in-game) This one appears to have been removed in most recent push: *"Do Gnomes have a vibrate setting? I'm just curious." Draenei Male *"What do you mean 'there's an octopus on my face'?" *"I love this planet! I come here; I see cow and chicken and ride little horsys. THIS PLANET HAS EVERYTHING!" *"You know, our tails add to our natural balance and agility, ha!" *Loud noise of metal clashing* *"We have it all figured out. Step One: We land the Exodar. Step Three: We defeat Legion and go home...there is only one detail missing." *"When we arrived here I lost many jewels that had been in my family for generations. If you could get your hands on my family jewels I would be deeply appreciative." *"We did not realize, but in Naaru language "Exodar" means 'defective elekk turd'." Horde Forsaken female * "You don't need deodorant when you don't have any armpits!" * "Yes, they're REAL! They're not mine, but they're real!" * "I'd paint my toenails, but I'm not sure where they FELL OFF!" * "Ah, doornails." * "I heard a knee slapper once, and skipped my kneecap right across a lake." * "You know, once you're dead, nothin' smells bad anymore. Rotten eggs? No problem. Dead fish? Like a spring breeze." * "This stinks" * "I'm in a rotten mood." Forsaken male * "Roses are gray, violets are gray, I'm dead and colorblind." * "I'm dead...and I'm pissed." * "Hey diddle diddle, the mucous and the spittle. The corpse sank in the lagoon. The murloc said 'mmmmm' to see such a sight, and the dwarf spanked the baboon." * "Anyone have any odorant? Either 'Wet Dog', 'Fresh Garbage', or 'Low Tide' would do." * "I can't stand the smell of Orcs." Orc female * "Darn, I need my chest waxed again!" * "I'm very feminine. And I'll beat the crap out of ANYONE who disagrees!" * "What's estrogen? Can you eat it?" * "I have no respect for people with small piercings. I say go full hog. Put a spear through your head." * "Man. I think that boar meat's comin back on me. I gotta hit the can. Anyone have a hearthstone?" * "Get between me and my food, and you'll lose a hand." Orc male * (sung)"I come from the Orcs. We eat with spoons and forks. We love to eat our pork!" * "It's not easy being green." * "Orc smash!" * "Stop poking me! Well, that was okay." * "Man, dawg, you know, it's like I'm feeling you, but I'm not feeling you, you know?" * "I will crush and destroy and...ooo...shiny..." Tauren female * "One time I laughed so hard I milked all over the floor." * "You know how hard it is to get your groove on with the spirit of your great grandmother watching over you?" * "In my native tongue, my name is Dances with Tassels." * "Happy Taurens come from Mulgore." Tauren male * "Homogenized? No way, I like the ladies." * "Moo. Are you happy now?" * "Y’know, Tauren are born hunters. You ever see a Tauren catch a salmon out of a stream? It really is quite exciting. You ever see a Tauren stalk a python? 'Course you haven't. That's because Tauren are so adept at blending in with their surroundings." * "Here’s the beef!" * "I know it seems strange, but I'm practically a cow, so why am I wearing leather?" * "Mess with the bull, you get the horns." Troll female * Da way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but I go through da ribcage! * Strong halitosis be but one of my feminine traits. * I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. . * If cannibalism be wrong, I don't want to be right! * I got all this, and personality too. Troll male * "I've got a shrunken head: I just came out of the pool." * "I heard if you cut off an extremity it'll regenerate a little bigger. Don't believe it." * "New Troll here." (This is a reference to Warcraft II; every time a new Troll Axe Thrower was produced by the barracks, it would say "New troll here," to let you know it was ready.) * "Cooking's done. Still here!" * "I like my women dumpy and droopy with halitosis." This one has been removed from the game: * "I kill two dwarfs in da morning, I kill two dwarfs at night, I kill two dwarfs in the afternoon, and then I feel alright. I kill two dwarfs in time of peace and two in time of war, I kill two dwarfs before I kill two dwarfs, and then I kill two more." (The Toyes song "Smoke 2 joints", which was covered by Sublime) Blood Elf female * "Ugh I hate Thunder Bluff! You can't find a good burger anywhere." * "So I went to this troll spa the other day and I wound up with dreadlocks and a frigging bone in my nose! I mean come on! Who PAYS for that?" *"I went to Undercity to get a facial. Ha! Have you seen these people? I said, 'You don't have a lower jaw and you're going to give ME a facial?' She got mad...at least I think she did. You ever heard someone talk without a lower jaw? 'Rawe-rau-werew' Ho-ho! She sounded like a murloc!" * "Do you think the expansion will make me fat?" * "So you mean I'm stuck with this hair color?!" * "How can I miss you if you don't go away?" * "Mirrors can't talk. Luckily for you, they can't laugh either!" Blood Elf male * "Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the thing I can and the wisdom to...*angry grunt* just give me some freaken' magic before I kill somebody!" * "I'm trying to cut back on arcane magic...look, I got the patch." * "We're allied with the Tauren? Fantastic! We'll be having steak twice a week." * "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" (Reference to Pussycat Dolls - Dont'Cha) * (sigh) "I could really use a scrunchy...yeah, you heard me!" * "So I was in line to the Bat Handler yesterday with some undead guy in front of me and all of the sudden he just lets one go! Didn't even try to disguise it! I don't know what he ate but it did not agree with him. I thought, 'What crawled up YOU and died'"? * "The problem with these Horde characters is they lack sophistication. *fart noise*" Other Voidwalker * "I...am...Void....where prohibited." Succubus * "First, we'll start with a little fire! *Fiery Sound* 'Am I bugging you?' 'I'm not touching you!' 'Am I bugging you?' 'I'm not touching you!!' There, now you're hot AND bothered. Felguard * I play all my records backwards! !sdrawkcab sdrocer ym lla yalp I Imp * "You know we've had some real good times together but I really think I should start seeing other warlocks. Just a little on the side. No no no it's not you, it's me. I just really need my space"